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The graphs below show the enrolments of overseas students and local students in Australian universities over a ten year period.

The graphs below show the enrolments of overseas students and local students in Australian universities over a ten year period. lyJK
The pictorial representations illustrates the number of international aspirants and domestic students registered in australian universities over a decade. There are two graphs which explains the both students which are commencing there graduation and total students from year 2001 to 2010. The first graph trend confirms that over the decade from 2001 to 2010 overseas students chart significantly rising without any fluctuation both in commencing and of total as in 2001 with 20000 overseas student and in 2010 to reach a peak with 80000 students, contrary in 2009 to 2010 there was slight increase from 40000 to around 41000. On the other hand second chart indicates the enrolment of local students which sharply try to rise till 2006 and got a period of stability from 2006 to 2010, starting from 400000 in 2001 and remain constant with around 600000. Whereas the students who are commencing rise in 2001 but fluctuates and fall in 2003 continue to rise dramatically and then again decline in 2010.
The pictorial representations
You should probably use "illustrate".
illustrates
the number of international aspirants and domestic
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students
registered in
Possible spelling mistake found.
australian
universities over a decade. There are two graphs which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explains
the both
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students
which are commencing there graduation and total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from year 2001 to 2010.

The
first
graph trend confirms that over the decade from 2001 to 2010 overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
chart
significantly
rising without any fluctuation both in commencing and of total as in 2001 with 20000 overseas
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student
and in 2010 to reach a peak with 80000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, contrary in 2009 to 2010 there was slight increase from 40000 to around 41000.

On the other hand
second chart indicates the
Possible spelling mistake. 'enrolment' is British English.
enrolment
of local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
which
sharply
try to rise till 2006 and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a period of stability from 2006 to 2010, starting from 400000 in 2001 and remain constant with around 600000. Whereas the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who are commencing rise in 2001
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
fluctuates and fall in 2003 continue to rise
dramatically
and then again decline in 2010.
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IELTS academic The graphs below show the enrolments of overseas students and local students in Australian universities over a ten year period.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
164 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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