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The graph below shows the online sales of Smartphones, Laptops and Tablets in the first quarter of 2019.

The graph below shows the online sales of Smartphones, Laptops and Tablets in the first quarter of 2019. APVa1
The graph shows the online sales of Smartphones, Laptops, and Tablets in the first quarter of 2019. The distribution of sales in million units is shown over four months from January to April. Overall, the online sales of Tablets and Smartphones increased from January to March but fluctuated in the month of April. Whereas the reverse order was seen in the case of Laptops. Sales decreased till March but a sudden increment was observed in January. The sales of Laptops peaked in the month of April with approximately 55 million units sold in the month. This was followed by the online sales of Laptops in January, February and the lowest around 25 million units in March. The trend was completely opposite in the case of Tablets and Smartphones. The sales of these products followed an upward trend from January to March with online purchase peaking for both the appliances in the month of March. A sudden downfall was seen in the online sales during the month of April. The lowest sale of Tablets was found in April with value close to 30 million units. The sale of smartphones was least during January with around 20 million units sold.
The graph
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shows
the
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online
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sales
of Smartphones,
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Laptops
, and Tablets in the
first
quarter of 2019. The distribution of
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sales
in
Use "a million" or use a number before 'million'.
million
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units
is shown
over four
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months
from January to April.

Overall
, the
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online
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sales
of Tablets and Smartphones increased from January to March
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but
fluctuated in the
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month
of April.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
the reverse order was
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seen
in the case of
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Laptops
.
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Sales
decreased till March
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but
a sudden increment
was observed
in January.

The
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sales
of
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Laptops
peaked in the
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month
of April with approximately 55
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million
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units
sold in the
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month
. This
was followed
by the
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online
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sales
of
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Laptops
in January, February and the lowest around 25
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million
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units
in March.

The trend was completely opposite in the case of Tablets and Smartphones. The
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sales
of these products followed an upward trend from January to March with
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online
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purchase
peaking for both the appliances in the
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month
of March. A sudden downfall was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the
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online
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sales
during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
month
of April. The lowest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sale
of Tablets
was found
in April with value close to 30
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
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units
. The
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sale
of smartphones was least during January with around 20
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million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
units
sold.
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IELTS academic The graph below shows the online sales of Smartphones, Laptops and Tablets in the first quarter of 2019.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
198 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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Task Achievement: 5.5
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