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the graph below shows the number of university graduates in canada from 1992 to 2007

The line graph illustrates the proprtion of adult male and female graduates in Canada from 1992 to 2007. It is immedialtely obvious that majorti of females graduated throughout this peiod. Meanwhile, the numbers both male and female graduates rose in the end of 2007. In 1992, approximately 70, 000 male gradutated and on the other hand, it is apparent that 98, 000 of females were graduated. The quantity of male graduates increased up to 78, 000 by 1995 and waxed and wained up to 73, 000 in the end of 2001. Moreover, it is evident that the amount of female graduates climb ed up to 105, 000 and witnessed a reverse trend up to 100, 000 by 1998. Suprisingly, the male graduates had a significat growth from 2001 to 2006 and ended up peekin 98, 000. Furthermore, the numbers of female graduates witnessd a dramatical growth from 1999 to 2007 and eventually provided 148, 000 graduates, respectively. However, it is crystal clear that the shape of the both figures were approximately equal from the beginning up to 2007.
The line graph illustrates the
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proprtion
of adult male and
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female
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graduates
in Canada from 1992 to 2007.

It is
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immedialtely
obvious that
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majorti
of
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females
graduated throughout this
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peiod
. Meanwhile, the numbers both male and
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female
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graduates
rose in the
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end
of 2007.

In 1992, approximately 70, 000 male
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gradutated
and
on the other hand
, it is apparent that 98, 000 of
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females
were graduated
. The quantity of male
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graduates
increased up to 78, 000 by 1995 and waxed and
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wained
up to 73, 000 in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of 2001.
Moreover
, it is evident that the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
climb ed up to 105, 000 and witnessed a reverse trend up to 100, 000 by 1998.
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Suprisingly
, the male
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graduates
had a
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significat
growth from 2001 to 2006 and ended up
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peekin
98, 000.
Furthermore
, the numbers of
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female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
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witnessd
a
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dramatical
growth from 1999 to 2007 and
eventually
provided 148, 000
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graduates
,
respectively
.

However
, it is crystal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the shape of the both figures were approximately equal from the beginning up to 2007.
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IELTS academic the graph below shows the number of university graduates in canada from 1992 to 2007

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
178 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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