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The bar graph compares the percentages of people, who visited four various places in Canada.

The bar graph compares the percentages of people, who visited four various places in Canada. Overall, it is clear that cinema is the most popular place for three group of people, who living in Canada. However, theatre, which is the least attractive place for Canadian people. In terms of native canadian, favourite place is cinema where 70% of people visited, which is the highest, while the least proportion of native canadian visited 20% in theatre. Library and zoo where around 35% and 43% people visited respectively. However, almost 65% of English speaking countries people visited highest in cinema. People visited library and zoo 40% and 50% respectively. Whereas, theatre, where the least percentages of English speaking countries people visited around 25%. Non speaking countries people visited most in library around 55%, while just 10% of people visited in theater, which is least percentage. However, cinema and zoo were Nonspeaking countries people visited almost 50% and 35% respectively in Canada.
The bar graph compares the percentages of
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people
, who
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visited
four various
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places
in Canada.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
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cinema
is the most popular
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place
for three
Possible agreement error. The noun ‘group’ seems to be countable, so consider using: “groups”.
group
of
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people
, who living in Canada.
However
,
Possible spelling mistake. ‘theatre’ is British English.
theatre
, which is the least attractive
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place
for Canadian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In terms of native
Possible spelling mistake found.
canadian
,
Possible spelling mistake. ‘favourite’ is British English.
favourite
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place
is
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cinema
where 70% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visited
, which is the highest, while the least proportion of native
Possible spelling mistake found.
canadian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visited
20% in
Possible spelling mistake. ‘theatre’ is British English.
theatre
. Library and zoo where around 35% and 43%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visited
respectively
.
However
, almost 65% of
Did you mean the adjective “English-speaking”?
English speaking
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countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visited
highest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visited
library and zoo 40% and 50%
respectively
. Whereas,
Possible spelling mistake. ‘theatre’ is British English.
theatre
, where the least percentages of
Did you mean the adjective “English-speaking”?
English speaking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visited
around 25%.

This expression is normally spelled as one or with a hyphen.
Non speaking
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countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visited
most in library around 55%, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
10% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visited
in theater, which is
A determiner is probably missing here: “the least”.
least
percentage.
However
,
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cinema
and zoo were Nonspeaking
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countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visited
almost 50% and 35%
respectively
in Canada.
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IELTS academic The bar graph compares the percentages of people, who visited four various places in Canada.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
159 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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