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The graph below shows the number of hours per day on average that children spent watching television between 1950 and 2010.

The graph below shows the number of hours per day on average that children spent watching television between 1950 and 2010. P6yj
The line graph compares the figures for average daily hours on watching TV spent by children over the period of 60 years Overall, there was a substantial increase in television viewing during the period shown. However, there are some changes in this trend. From 1950 to 1960, there was a small rise in the average times kids spent in front of the TV at about 0. 7 hours a day. In addition, an enormous growth between 0, 7 and 4 was seen in the amount of viewing times during the next period from 1960 to 1980. Over the next ten years witnessed a modest fluctuation of 4 in the standard numbers of hours that young children spent on watching Tv on a daily basis. Nevertheless, the average hours of spending on TV saw a gradual decrease for the rest of the period- between around 1995 to 2010.
The line graph compares the figures for average daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
on watching TV spent by children over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
of 60 years

Overall
, there was a substantial increase in television viewing during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
shown.
However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in this trend.

From 1950 to 1960, there was a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
rise in the average times kids spent in front of the TV

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
at
about 0. 7
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
a day.
In addition
, an enormous growth between 0, 7 and 4 was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the amount of viewing times during the
next
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
from 1960 to 1980.

Over the
next
ten years witnessed a modest fluctuation of 4 in the standard numbers of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
that young children spent on watching
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tv
on a daily basis.
Nevertheless
, the average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
of spending on TV
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a gradual decrease for the rest of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period-
between around 1995 to 2010.
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IELTS academic The graph below shows the number of hours per day on average that children spent watching television between 1950 and 2010.

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
147 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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