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Graph below shows average temperature experienced in three cities

Graph below shows average temperature experienced in three cities GB0o
The given line graph illustrates the average experienced temperature per month in three famous cities including Athens, Barcelona and sydney. Overall, Athens and Barcelona have shown almost the same pattern of hot throughout the year, though Sydney experienced an opposite trend of temperature pattern. The common features of all three cities is the rate of temperature was constant at the beginning and end of the year. Categorically, Athens and Barcelona had the lowest degree of temperature at the month of January, that is around 10. After that Athens had a significant rise of temperature until august with various minor fluctuations. The temperature peaks toward the highest degree by the month of august which is 31. Following that a drastic change in temperature is visualized in the remaining months. The city witnessed a steep decline in the thermal weather by hitting the lowest range (10) by the end of the year. The same trend is noticed in Barcelona. After the elevation of temperature to the highest range, the graph plunched to seven degrees by December. Meanwhile, Sydney shows an opposite trend regarding temperature effects in the city throughout the year. The noticeable rise in temperature is observed at the month of January and December which is 27. The lowest temperature experienced in Sydney was by July (15) after the gradual slope in temperature up to mid of the year. The next spike in temperature was at the end of year through the gradual elevation of temperature after the mid year.
The
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given
line graph illustrates the average experienced
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temperature
per
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month
in three
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famous
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cities
including Athens, Barcelona and
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sydney
.

Overall
, Athens and Barcelona have shown almost the same pattern of hot throughout the
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year
, though Sydney experienced an opposite trend of
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temperature
pattern. The common features of all three
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cities
is the rate of
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temperature
was constant at the beginning and
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end
of the year.

Categorically
, Athens and Barcelona had the lowest degree of
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temperature
at the
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month
of January,
that is
around 10. After that Athens had a significant rise of
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temperature
until
The month "August" needs to be capitalized.
august
with various minor fluctuations. The
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temperature
peaks toward the highest degree by the
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month
of august which is 31. Following that a drastic
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change
in
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temperature
is visualized
in the remaining
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months
. The city witnessed a steep decline in the thermal weather by hitting the lowest range (10) by the
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end
of the
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year
. The same trend
is noticed
in Barcelona. After the elevation of
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temperature
to the highest range, the graph
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plunched
to seven degrees by December.

Meanwhile, Sydney
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shows
an opposite trend regarding
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temperature
effects in the city throughout the
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year
. The noticeable rise in
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temperature
is observed
at the
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month
of January and December which is 27. The lowest
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temperature
experienced in Sydney was by July (15) after the gradual slope in
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temperature
up to mid of the
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year
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
next
spike in
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temperature
was at the
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end
of
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year
through the gradual elevation of
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temperature
after the mid
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year
.
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IELTS academic Graph below shows average temperature experienced in three cities

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
249 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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