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The Pie chart below shows the average household expenditure in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The Pie chart below shows the average household expenditure in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010. 1K2L
The pie chart depicted Japan and Malaysia’s the average household expenditure by five different parts in 2010. Looking firstly at Japan, the most noticeable figures of 29% was discovered in Other goods and services, followed by Food with 24%. Housing and Transport recorded the similar percentage of 21% and precisely 20% respectively. Lastly, the most slight proportion was found in Health care(6%). Moving onto Malaysia, Housing occupied the biggest percantage of 34%. Then, Food(27%) and Other goods and services(26%) followed as the similar figures of around quarter of the total. Yet, Transport indicated the second marginal proportion of 10%. Only 3% was recorded in Health care. To sum up, Other goods and services, Housing and Food were the major household expenditure sectors, while Transport and Health care were insignificant in both countries.
The pie chart depicted Japan and Malaysia’s the average household expenditure by five
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
parts in 2010.

Looking
firstly
at Japan, the most noticeable figures of 29%
was discovered
in Other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and services, followed by Food with 24%. Housing and Transport recorded the similar percentage of 21% and
precisely
20%
respectively
.
Lastly
, the most slight proportion
was found
in Health care(6%).

Moving onto Malaysia, Housing occupied the biggest
Possible spelling mistake found.
percantage
of 34%. Then, Food(27%) and Other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and services(26%) followed as the similar figures of around quarter of the total.
Yet
, Transport indicated the second marginal proportion of 10%.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
3%
was recorded
in Health care.

To sum up, Other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and services, Housing and Food were the major household expenditure sectors, while Transport and Health care were insignificant in both countries.
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IELTS academic The Pie chart below shows the average household expenditure in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
132 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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