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Holliday Accommodation chosen by British

Holliday Accommodation chosen by British K3eRk
The bar chart depicts the kinds of holliday accommodations in four different British countries in the year 2010. In the y-axis are the four kinds of accomodations, while in the y-axis we see the percentages. Overall, it’s noticeble that hotel is the most common placement for the four countries considered in the chart, meaning not less than 40% in any one of them. On the other hand, camping and caravan are usually the less chosen alternatives. In England, hotel is mostly chosen, representing something about 55% of the accommodations usage, while self-catering, the second most used, is elected by about 27% of guests in the country. In Scotland, the hotel represents about 52% of the accomodations, and self-catering has more representativity than in England, achieving 30%. In Wales, hotel means about 49% of the types of accomodation chosen by tourists, and self-catering, as in England, represents someting about 27%; In Northern Ireland it’s noticeable that Caravan has a higher representativity than in the other three countries, been occupied by about 31% of visitors, but, as usual, hotel keeps as the more used alternative, representing about 45%.
The bar chart depicts the kinds of
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holliday
accommodations in four
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
British
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countries
in the year 2010. In the y-axis are the four kinds of
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accomodations
, while in the y-axis we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the percentages.

Overall
, it’s
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noticeble
that
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hotel
is the most common placement for the four
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countries
considered in the chart, meaning not less than 40% in any one of them.
On the other hand
, camping and caravan are
usually
the less chosen alternatives.

In England,
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hotel
is
mostly
chosen, representing something about 55% of the
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "accommodations'" or "accommodation's"?
accommodations
usage, while self-catering, the second most
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used
,
is elected
by about 27% of guests in the
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country
. In Scotland, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hotel
represents about 52% of the
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accomodations
, and self-catering has more representativity than in England, achieving 30%.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
Wales,
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hotel
means about 49% of the types of
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accomodation
chosen by tourists, and self-catering, as in England, represents
Possible spelling mistake found.
someting
about 27%; In Northern Ireland it’s noticeable that Caravan has a higher representativity than in the other three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
been occupied
by about 31% of visitors,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, as usual,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hotel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
as the more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
alternative, representing about 45%.
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IELTS academic Holliday Accommodation chosen by British

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
186 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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