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The graph below shows the contribution of three sectors - agriculture, manufacturing and business and financial services - to the UK economy in the twentieth century. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and the comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the contribution of three sectors - agriculture, manufacturing and business and financial services - to the UK economy in the twentieth century. bYD9l
The bar graph illustrates the role of three sectors including agriculture, manufacturing and business and financial services with the England economy between 1900 and 2000. Overall, the percentage of agriculture and manufacturing areas had a strong downward trend. Conversely, the percentage of business and financial had a strong upward trend. Although, the rate of agriculture industry was the highest category in the beginning, it fell to bellow the level of business and financial services at the end. As can be seen from the graph, business and finance was 5% in 1900s. The rate of business and finance areas slightly over triple in the next 50 years. Subsequently, it climbed 10% in 1975 and reached a peak at 35% in one decade. By contrast, agriculture was increased by 50% until 1950. However, it fell sharply decreased by 10% in 1975. As well as, it went down at 5% in 2000. It is clear that the percentage of manufacture industry in 1900, it was 45%, moreover, then it has decreased by 40% in 1950. It was also declined by 15 % by the year 2000.
The bar graph illustrates the role of three sectors including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agriculture
, manufacturing

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
and financial services with the England economy between 1900 and 2000.

Overall
, the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agriculture
and manufacturing areas had a strong downward

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
trend
.
Conversely
, the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
and financial had a strong upward trend.

“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
, the rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agriculture
industry was the highest category in the

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
beginning
, it fell to bellow the level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
and financial services at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.

As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the graph,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
and finance was 5%
The article is probably missing here: "in the 1900s".
in 1900s
. The rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
and finance areas
slightly
over triple in the
next
50 years.
Subsequently
, it climbed 10% in 1975 and reached a peak at 35% in one decade.

By contrast,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agriculture
was increased
by 50% until 1950.
However
, it fell
sharply
decreased by 10% in 1975.
As well
as, it went down at 5% in 2000. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the percentage of manufacture industry in 1900, it was 45%,
moreover
, then it has decreased by 40% in 1950. It was
also
declined by 15 % by the year 2000.
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IELTS academic The graph below shows the contribution of three sectors - agriculture, manufacturing and business and financial services - to the UK economy in the twentieth century.

Academic
  American English
8 paragraphs
183 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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