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The graph below shows the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a europen country between 1979 and 2004.

The given graph illustrates about the comparison of consume chicken, beef, lamb and fish in Europe for 25 years. Overall, The consumption of Beef was the highest in the first period, followed by consumption in Lamb with the second highest. However, in the end of period Beef got replaced by Chicken. In addition, there is no significant change for consumption in Fish. First of all. In 1979, The consumption of beef was consist of above 200 grams and this showed a rise of consumption with under 250 grams in period of 1980. However, In the end of periode, the consumption of beef was deteriorate to slightly above 100. Likewise, The consumption of lamb was comprised of 150 grams which is significantly reduce to slightly above 50 grams 25 years later. On the other hand, Consumer of chicken were consist 140 grams and showed a growth consumption every year. In 2004 the consumption chicken were the highest from other meats. Inversely proportional with this, Fish consumption started consist above 50 grams and remained steadily until 2004.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
graph illustrates about the comparison of consume chicken,
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beef
, lamb and fish in Europe for 25 years.

Overall
, The
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consumption
of
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Beef
was the highest in the
first
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period
, followed by
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consumption
in Lamb with the second highest.
However
, in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of
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period
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Beef
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
replaced by Chicken.
In addition
, there is no significant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
for
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consumption
in Fish.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
. In 1979, The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beef
was consist of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
above
200
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
and this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a rise of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
with under 250
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grams
in
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period
of 1980.
However
, In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
periode
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beef
was deteriorate to
slightly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
above
100.
Likewise
, The
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consumption
of lamb
Did you mean "comprised" or "consisted of" or "was composed of"?
was comprised of
150
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grams
which is
significantly
Consider using a past participle here: "reduced".
reduce
to
slightly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
above
50
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
25 years later.

On the other hand
, Consumer of chicken
Did you mean "where" or "we"?
were
consist 140
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grams
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a growth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
every year. In 2004 the
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consumption
chicken were the highest from other meats.
Inversely
proportional with this, Fish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
consist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
above
50
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
and remained
steadily
until 2004.

IELTS academic The graph below shows the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a europen country between 1979 and 2004.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
175 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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