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The bar chart show the percentage of the total world population in 4 countries in 1950 and 2002, and projection of 2050.

The bar graph illustrate the proportion of the total world population which was in 4 countries in the year 1950 and 2002, also depict future prediction of 2050. Overall, it can be manifested that the highest percentage of population recorded in Asian countries, while other two country USA and Japan had the least population. First of all, Chian had the most proportion of population with 23% in the year 1950 and by the time it slightly went down in 2002 and recorded one-fifth percentage. Another Asian country India had the second highest population in former year at 15%, when USA population percentage were half of it(around 7%). However, in latter year India and USA had around 17% and 5% of population respectively. Japan had no major change in population and it was around 4% in both years 1950 and 2002. Secondly, in the year 2050, there will be some changes in population proportions. As considering data India will surpass China and record the largest population over the world with 18%. China Will stat 15% population in future, While USA have no changes in percentages. Moreover, Japan will be only country who will decline half of percentage and stat 2% of population in year 2050.
The bar graph illustrate the proportion of the total world
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population
which was in 4
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countries
in the
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year
1950 and 2002,
also
depict future prediction of 2050.

Overall
, it can
be manifested
that the highest
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percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
recorded in Asian
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countries
, while other two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
USA and Japan had the least population.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
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Chian
had the most proportion of
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population
with 23% in the
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year
1950 and by the time it
slightly
went down in 2002 and recorded one-fifth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
. Another Asian
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country
India had the second highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
in former
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year
at 15%, when USA
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
were half of it(around 7%).
However
, in latter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
India and USA had around 17% and 5% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
respectively
. Japan had no major
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
and it was around 4% in both years 1950 and 2002.

Secondly
, in the
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year
2050, there will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
proportions. As considering data India will surpass China and record the largest
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population
over the world with 18%. China Will stat 15%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
,
A determiner is probably missing here: "While the USA".
While USA
have no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentages
.
Moreover
, Japan will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
who will decline half of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
and stat 2% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2050.

IELTS academic The bar chart show the percentage of the total world population in 4 countries in 1950 and 2002, and projection of 2050.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
204 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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