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The graph below shows the amounts spent on apparel on the internet in USA and Japan between 1999 and 2003.

The double line graph compares the amount of money (In million USD) spent on online shopping of clothes in both USA and Japan between 1999 and 2003. Overall, both countries experience increasing in the expenditures over the mentioned years. As a result USA and Japan reach to their peak value in 2003. Back to the period between 1999 and 2000, the USA had the lowest expenditure at 5 million USD. While japan had it lowest point between 2001 and 2002 at 7. 5 million USD or slightly above. The figure illustrates the biggest difference between the two nations at the end of the second quarter of 1999, 10 million USD in Japan and 5 million USD or slightly less in USA. Then both lines gradually increased until the middle of 2000. After that both line goes down to nearly the same point around 7. 5 million USD between 2001 and 2002. At this point both countries faced a rapid increase in the amount of money spent on clothes that bought from the internet to reach almost 18 million USD. . .
The double line graph compares the amount of money (In
Use “a million” or use a number before ‘million’.
million
USD) spent on online shopping of clothes in both USA and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
between 1999 and 2003.

Overall
, both countries experience increasing in the expenditures over the mentioned years.
As a result
USA and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
reach to their peak value in 2003. Back to the period between 1999 and 2000, the USA had the lowest expenditure at 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
USD. While
This noun needs to be capitalized if you mean the country “Japan”.
japan
had it
A determiner is probably missing here: “the lowest”.
lowest
point between 2001 and 2002 at 7. 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
USD or
slightly
above.

The figure illustrates the biggest difference between the two nations at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the second quarter of 1999, 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
USD in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
and 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
USD or
slightly
less
A determiner is probably missing here: “in the USA”.
in USA
. Then both lines
gradually
increased until the middle of 2000. After that both line goes down to
nearly
the same point around 7. 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
USD between 2001 and 2002. At this point both countries faced a rapid increase in the amount of money spent on clothes that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
from the internet to reach almost 18
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
USD.
Don’t put a space before the full stop.
.
Don’t put a space before the full stop.
.

IELTS academic The graph below shows the amounts spent on apparel on the internet in USA and Japan between 1999 and 2003.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
181 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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