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The above line chart represents the number of tourists visiting Malaysia and Dubai from 1995 to 2003.

This graph illustrates the number of tourists who visited Malaysia and Dubai from 1995 to 2003. Overall it shows that more tourists visited Malaysia from 1995 to 2000 but afterwards Dubai had more visitors. Going into details, in 1995, 100 thousand tourists visited Malaysia and it was double the number of tourists in Dubai at the same time. The next year, the number of tourists in Malaysia increased while in Dubai it remained the same. Then the number of tourists in Malaysia and Dubai increased rapidly and in 1998, 200 thousand people visited Malaysia in comparison to over 150 thousand in Dubai. From 1998 to 1999, Malaysia showed a huge increase in the number of tourists and reached quarter million visitors while in Dubai there was a slight decrease. But in 2000 both countries have reached over quarter million. Next year, they witnessed an enormous rise in the tourists’ number and stood at about 325 thousand. Then a reverse trend happened during the next years with a higher number of tourists in Dubai than in Malaysia. In 2003, 0. 4 million visitors went to Dubai, a dramatic rise compared to that of 1995, while Malaysia attracted fewer than 250 thousand tourists which was 2. 5 times than that of 1995.
This graph illustrates the
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number
of
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tourists
who
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visited
Malaysia and Dubai from 1995 to 2003.

Overall
it
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shows
that more
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tourists
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visited
Malaysia from 1995 to 2000
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but
afterwards Dubai had more visitors. Going into
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, in 1995, 100 thousand
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tourists
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visited
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
Malaysia and
it was double the
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number
of
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tourists
in Dubai at the same time. The
next
year, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
in Malaysia increased while in Dubai it remained the same. Then the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
in Malaysia and Dubai increased
rapidly
and in 1998, 200 thousand
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
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visited
Malaysia
in comparison
to over 150 thousand in Dubai. From 1998 to 1999, Malaysia
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a huge increase in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
and reached quarter million visitors while in Dubai there was a slight decrease.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in 2000 both countries have reached over quarter million.
Next
year, they witnessed an enormous rise in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists’
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number
and stood at about 325 thousand. Then a reverse trend happened during the
next
years with a higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
in Dubai than in Malaysia. In 2003, 0. 4 million visitors went to Dubai, a dramatic rise compared to that of 1995, while Malaysia attracted fewer than 250 thousand
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tourists
which was 2. 5 times than that of 1995.
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IELTS academic The above line chart represents the number of tourists visiting Malaysia and Dubai from 1995 to 2003.

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
210 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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Grammatical Range: 6.0
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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