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The graph below shows sales of children book , adult fiction and educational books

The graph below shows sales of children book, adult fiction and educational books rKd6J
A glance at line chart provided compares the sales of Books of infants, adult fiction and educational books in 2004 to 2006 in one nation As an overall assessment it is immensely clear that large discrepancies can be witnessed in depicted chart. There was significant rise in books that were sold of children book. By contrast, . There was dramatic slump in sale of adult fiction book. as regards, it comprised of 45 million dollar in beginning which follow down ward trends and in the reached at 30 million dollar.
A glance at line chart provided compares the sales of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Books
of infants, adult fiction and educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
in 2004 to 2006 in one nation

As an
overall
assessment it is
immensely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that large discrepancies can
be witnessed
in depicted chart. There was significant rise in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
that
were sold
of children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
. By contrast
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
There was dramatic slump in sale of adult fiction
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
as
regards, it comprised of 45 million
Possible agreement error. The noun 'dollar' seems to be countable, so consider using: "dollars".
dollar
in beginning which follow down ward trends and in the reached at 30 million
Possible agreement error. The noun 'dollar' seems to be countable, so consider using: "dollars".
dollar
.
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IELTS academic The graph below shows sales of children book, adult fiction and educational books

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
90 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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