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the graph show the percentages and age categories of Netflix customers using various devices in 2014

the graph show the percentages and age categories of Netflix customers using various devices in 2014 7WX3k
The graph illustrates percentages of Netflix customers in the US according to age categories and devices during the year 2014. To summarize, most generation Y use video game consoles to watch netflix while most of generation X and boomers use smart TV to watch netflix. Compared one to another, we can see that blu-ray players had the lowest user base while streaming devices had the second lowest user base. We can also see that video game consoles had the most user base among generation Y between the age of 13 to 34. Smart TVs on the other hand had the lowest user base among generation Y, and if we compared it to generation X and boomers the amount of user base is significantly lower. When we sum up all the numbers on boomers, X, and Y generation usage of video game consoles, smart TV, streaming devices, and blu-ray players respectively. We can see that the boomers generation had exponentially lower numbers compared to generation X and Y.
The graph illustrates percentages of Netflix customers in the US according to age categories and devices during the year 2014.
To summarize
, most generation Y
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
video game consoles to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
Possible spelling mistake found.
netflix
while
Consider using "most generation" or "most of the generation".
most of generation
X and boomers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
smart TV to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
Possible spelling mistake found.
netflix
.

Compared one to another, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that
Did you mean "Blu-ray"?
blu-ray
players had the lowest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
user
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
base
while streaming devices had the second lowest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
user
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
base
. We can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that video game consoles had the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
user
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
base
among generation Y between the age of 13 to 34. Smart TVs
on the other hand
had the lowest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
user
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
base
among generation Y, and if we compared it to generation X and boomers the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
user
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
base
is
significantly
lower.

When we sum up all the numbers on boomers, X, and Y generation usage of video game consoles, smart TV, streaming devices, and
Did you mean "Blu-ray"?
blu-ray
players
respectively
. We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that the
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "boomers'" or "boomer's"?
boomers
generation had
exponentially
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "lowed", "lowered".
lower
numbers compared to generation X and Y.
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IELTS academic the graph show the percentages and age categories of Netflix customers using various devices in 2014

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
167 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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