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The graph below shows hours spent by students of different age groups per week on leisure activities and study.

The graph below shows hours spent by students of different age groups per week on leisure activities and study. we00Y
The bar graph illustrates the information about hours spent by pupils of distinctive age groups per week on free time activities and study. At a fleeting glance, it is immensely clear from the bar graph that spent by student on leisure activities more than 40 hours, being higher than hours of study by approximately 20 hours by 10-12 years after which it decreased by 12-14 years to merely above 30 hours as well this age group focused on study by just above 40 hours. Furthermore, observer of 14-16 years spent a lot time on their study by 60 hours in per week, while minimum time was being spent by student on free time activity to 30 hours according to per week. Delving deeper, hours of per week was remained relatively same because 16-18 years age group give preference equal to free time activities and also study by merely above 50 hours. Moreover, student preferred to study than the free time activities to nearly 70 hours from merely above 10 hours by per week. Overall, despite violent fluctuations hours was remained stable in the leisure activities and study by teenage group.
The bar graph illustrates the information about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
by pupils of distinctive age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
per week on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
and study.

At a fleeting glance, it is
immensely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
from the bar graph that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
by student on leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
more than 40
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
, being higher than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
by approximately 20
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
by 10-12 years after which it decreased by 12-14 years to
merely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
above
30
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
as well
this age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
focused on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
above
40
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
.
Furthermore
, observer of 14-16 years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
a lot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
by 60
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
in per week, while minimum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
was being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
by student on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
to 30
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
according to per week.

Delving deeper,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
of per week
was remained
relatively
same
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
16-18 years age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
give preference equal to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
and
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
by
merely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
above
50
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
.
Moreover
, student preferred to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
to
nearly
70
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
from
merely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
above
10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
by per week.

Overall
, despite violent fluctuations
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
was remained
stable in the leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
by teenage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
.
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IELTS academic The graph below shows hours spent by students of different age groups per week on leisure activities and study.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
190 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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