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The graph below shows fast food consumption among men and women in 2015

The graph illustrates fast food consumption among men and women in 2015 overall it can be seen those days men and women youngster's higher calorie baron in 2015 In the year 2015 it can be observed that maximum calorie baron mea and women of aged18 to 34 group which was nearly 17% and 16% and also in the sem year 35 to 49 aged mea and women calorie baron which was approx 11%and 9% when old aged men and women average calories baron which was almost 9% and 8. 5% When were that time Senorsetigan men and women average calories baron which was approx 4. 5% and 3. 5% It can be be finally commented youngsters was most highly used fast food
The graph illustrates
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fast
food consumption among
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men
and
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women
in 2015
overall
it can be
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seen
those days
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men
and
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women
youngster's higher calorie
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baron
in 2015

In the year 2015 it can
be observed
that maximum calorie
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baron
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mea
and
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women
of aged18 to 34 group which was
nearly
17% and 16% and
also
in the
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sem
year 35 to 49 aged
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mea
and
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women
calorie
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baron
which was approx 11%and 9% when
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old
aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
average calories
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baron
which was almost 9% and 8. 5%

When were that time
Possible spelling mistake found.
Senorsetigan
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men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
average calories
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
baron
which was approx 4. 5% and 3. 5%

It can be
Consider using the past participle "been"?
be
finally
commented youngsters was most
highly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food
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IELTS academic The graph below shows fast food consumption among men and women in 2015

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
121 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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