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The graph below shown the number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making comparisons where relevant

The graph illustrates how many millions of visitors staying on the cruise ships and island from 2010 to 2017. Overall, the total number of visitors on cruise ships and island were highest that the particular island of Caribbean. Firstly, visitors staying on cruise ships began with 0. 3 million of visitors during 2010. Its sightly increased in 2011 and plunged at 2012. Again, visitors rose up to 2 million between 2018 to 2017 respectively. Secondly, visitors staying on island was 0. 8 million of visitors from 2010 to 2011. It grew up to 1, 5 millions of visitors from 2011 to 2015 and gently, decrease in 2016 with 0. 3 millions of visitors. Similarly, visitors went up to 1. 5 millon in 2017. In the addition, visitors staying on cruise ships and island were intersected between 2015 and 2016. The total number of tourists visiting a Caribbean island started with 1 millions in 2019 which rocketed up to 3. 5 million from 2010 to 2017 respectively.
The graph illustrates how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
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millions
of
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visitors
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staying
on the
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cruise
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ships
and
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island
from 2010 to 2017.

Overall
, the total number of
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visitors
on
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cruise
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ships
and
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island
were highest that the particular
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island
A determiner is probably missing here: "of the Caribbean".
of Caribbean
.

Firstly
,
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visitors
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staying
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cruise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ships
began with 0. 3
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million
of
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visitors
during 2010. Its
sightly
increased in 2011 and plunged at 2012. Again,
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visitors
rose up to 2
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million
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 2018 and 2017".
between 2018 to 2017
respectively
.

Secondly
,
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visitors
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staying
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
island
was 0. 8
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million
of
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visitors
from 2010 to 2011. It grew up to 1, 5
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millions
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
from 2011 to 2015 and
gently
, decrease in 2016 with 0. 3
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
.
Similarly
,
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visitors
went up to 1. 5
Possible spelling mistake found.
millon
in 2017. In the addition,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staying
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cruise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ships
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
island
were intersected
between 2015 and 2016. The total number of tourists visiting a Caribbean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
island
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
with 1
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
in 2019 which rocketed up to 3. 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
from 2010 to 2017
respectively
.
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IELTS academic The graph below shown the number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
166 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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