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The graph below shows a survey result of 4000 participants who expressed what important aspects they have learned from the internship they have completed

The graph below shows a survey result of 4000 participants who expressed what important aspects they have learned from the internship they have completed OGME
The pie chart illustrates the important outcomes, which were gained by 4000 participants from their internship. Units are measured in percentage(%). Other skills were the most important outcome according to over a quarter participants. Whereas practical knowledge and communication skills were gained by almost one third of the participants combined, 15% and 14% respectively. 10% participants understood the industry they were working on. On the other hand, only a 3% percentage of participants learned teamwork as an important skill. It was almost similar outcome as work environment, which was gained by 4%. Work operation, future planning, time management and real work experience were gained 7% of the participants. Overall, practical knowledge and other skills were learned by the most of the participants, while teamwork and experience in work environment was least important outcome.
The pie chart illustrates the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outcomes
, which were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gained
by 4000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
participants
from their internship. Units
are measured
in percentage(%).

Other
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skills
were the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outcome
according to over a quarter
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "participant"?
participants
. Whereas practical knowledge and communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gained
by almost one third of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
participants
combined, 15% and 14%
respectively
. 10%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
participants
understood the industry they were working on.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a 3% percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
participants
learned teamwork as an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
. It was almost similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outcome
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
environment, which was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gained
by 4%.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Work
operation, future planning, time management and real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
experience were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gained
7% of the participants.

Overall
, practical knowledge and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
were learned
by the most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
participants
, while teamwork and experience in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
environment was
A determiner is probably missing here: "the least".
least
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outcome
.
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IELTS academic The graph below shows a survey result of 4000 participants who expressed what important aspects they have learned from the internship they have completed

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
133 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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