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The graph below show the number of passanger railway journey made in Great Britain between 1950 and 2004/05.

The graph below show the number of passanger railway journey made in Great Britain between 1950 and 2004/05. Wyog0
The line graph depicts the informations regarding the country Great Britain where people do their journey through railway in year 1950 to 2004/05. Describing about national rail network, there was much fluctuations can be seen, in initial year 1000 million of travellers used railway and in next year it was increased upto 1150 million passanger and then, it had been continuously falling in trend using railway for passanger around 650 million in year 1980 and then after throughout the period it was again boost nearly 800 million passanger were travel in 1990/91 and in 2004/05 rose in trend using railway among people as similar as year 1960. Analyzing, about London underground in year 1950, around 700 million tourists were using it and later, in 1980 slightly drop using railway by passanger about 500 million, after a year, in 1990/91 rapid growth in public were using train nearly 800 million and simultaneously increased till 2004/05 usage of railway among public was slightly below 1000 million. By moving further, light rail and metro system was used after 1960 to 1980 had not much difference was seen, it was used by almost 50 million passanger then slowly elevated of using light rail and metro system throughout the period around 100 million and 200 million traveller in year 1990/91 and 2004/05 respectively. Overall, it can be observed that National rail network and London Underground had the highest number of people to travel through railway; whereas, light rail and metro system used least among tourist to travel.
The line graph depicts the
The word 'informations' is a legal term. In standard English, the word 'information' is a non-count noun. Did you mean "information"?
informations
regarding the country Great Britain where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do their journey through
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railway
in
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year
1950 to 2004/05.

Describing about national
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rail
network,
Did you mean "there were much fluctuations"?
there was much fluctuations
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
, in initial
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year
1000
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million
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
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railway
and in
next
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year
it
was increased
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upto
1150
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million
Possible spelling mistake found.
passanger
and then, it had been
continuously
falling in trend using
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railway
for
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passanger
around 650
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million
in
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year
1980 and then after throughout the period it was again
Consider using a past participle here: "boosted".
boost
nearly
800
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million
Possible spelling mistake found.
passanger
Did you mean "where" or "we"?
were
travel in 1990/91 and in 2004/05 rose in trend using
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railway
among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
as similar as
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year
1960.

Analyzing, about London underground in
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year
1950, around 700
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million
tourists were using it and later, in 1980
slightly
drop using
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railway
by
Possible spelling mistake found.
passanger
about 500
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million
, after a
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year
, in 1990/91 rapid growth in public were using train
nearly
800
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million
and

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
simultaneously
increased till 2004/05 usage of
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railway
among public was
slightly
below 1000
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million
. By moving
further
, light
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rail
and metro system was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
after 1960 to 1980 had not much difference was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
, it was
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used
by almost 50
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million
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passanger
then
slowly
elevated of using light
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rail
and metro system throughout the period around 100
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million
and 200
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million
Possible agreement error. The noun 'traveller' seems to be countable, so consider using: "travellers".
traveller
in
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year
1990/91 and 2004/05
respectively
.

Overall
, it can
be observed
that National
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rail
network and London Underground had the highest number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to travel through
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railway
; whereas, light
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rail
and metro system
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
least among tourist to travel.
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IELTS academic The graph below show the number of passanger railway journey made in Great Britain between 1950 and 2004/05.

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
252 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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