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The graph below information about the requirement of teachers in Ontario between 2001 and 2007.

The graph below information about the requirement of teachers in Ontario between 2001 and 2007. mX69d
The presented graph illustrates the trends to recruit official teachers at first year major in English and French from 2001 to 2007 in Ontario. Overall, after one the decreasing initial year together, the percentage of two languages go different directions at upward trend for French and downward one for English. As can be seen from the graph from the period of 2001 to 2002, the teachers of both languages had the same trends at the percentage from 70% to 52% for french and 74% to 58% for English. After this time, the percentage of people who taught French increased to 68% before fluctuating around the rate of 70% for the remaining time. In contrast, the proportion of English teachers decreased from 58% to 40% between 2002 and 2003, then it got a slight rise for next 2 years to 2005 to 45%. Thereafter, it droped by approximately 20% to the two following years.
The presented graph illustrates the trends to recruit official teachers at
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
major in English and French from 2001 to 2007 in Ontario.
Overall
, after one the decreasing initial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
together, the percentage of two languages go
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
directions at upward trend for French and downward one for English.

As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the graph from the period of 2001 to 2002, the teachers of both languages had the same trends at the percentage from 70% to 52% for french and 74% to 58% for English.

After this time, the percentage of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who taught French increased to 68%
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
fluctuating around the rate of 70% for the remaining time.
In contrast
, the proportion of English teachers decreased from 58% to 40% between 2002 and 2003, then it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a slight rise for
next
2 years to 2005 to 45%. Thereafter, it
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "dropped", the past tense form of the verb 'drop'?
droped
by approximately 20% to the two following years.
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IELTS academic The graph below information about the requirement of teachers in Ontario between 2001 and 2007.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
153 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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