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The graph below gives information on wages of Somecountry over a ten year period.

The graph below gives information on wages of Somecountry over a ten year period. bbo13
The given line graph illustrates the percentage of growth in wages in Somecountry between the year 1993 to 2003 and how it is changed over the ten year period. Overall, it is evident that the growth rate in some country had shown remarkable changes over the period of decade. According to the data it can be seen that in 1993, The growth was at 2% However, it doubled rapidly in 1994. further on, the figure fell back to 3% in 1995, followed by a gradual recovery to nearly 4% until 1997. moreover 1998 was the fascinating year where the wage percent reached peak of 6%. Coming to the remaining years the wages rate observed considerably more rapid downturn compared with the prior years. in 2002 the wages reached the lowest of nearly 1% growth, although the growth recovered again at 2% at the end of the time.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
line graph illustrates the percentage of
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growth
in wages in
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Somecountry
between the
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year
1993 to 2003 and how it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
over the ten
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year
period.

Overall
, it is evident that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
rate in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
country had shown remarkable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
over the period of decade.

According to the data it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that in 1993, The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
was at 2%
However
, it doubled
rapidly
in 1994.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
further
on, the figure fell back to 3% in 1995, followed by a gradual recovery to
nearly
4% until 1997.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
moreover
1998 was the fascinating
It is better to use 'year' with the time-relative pronoun 'when': "year when". (Alternatively, use 'in/on which')
year where
the wage percent reached peak of 6%.

Coming to the remaining years the wages rate observed
considerably
more rapid downturn compared with the prior years.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
2002 the wages reached the lowest of
nearly
1%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
, although the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
recovered again at 2% at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the time.
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IELTS academic The graph below gives information on wages of Somecountry over a ten year period.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
147 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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