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The graph below gives information on the differences in clothing exports from three different countries

The graph below gives information on the differences in clothing exports from three different countries qbbG
The rendered line graph illustrates the figure of exporting clothes from Columbia, Japan and Myanmar between 1999 and 2003. Having a quick glance, it can be seen that initially, a negligible amount of money invested by Myanmar in the exporting clothes which showed a sudden increase. After 1999, the expenditure of exporting clothes was registered as 800 millions of dollars that incline by 140 millions of dollar. Surprisingly, the the significant drop was observed in 2002 and finally it was noticed as only 430 millions of dollars. Turning into the next details, Japan and Colombia followed an opposite trend of each other over the given time period. In the first year. less than 600 millions of dollars were spent by Japan in the exporting of clothes. The figure of exporting clothes was inclined gradually which was accounted as 600 millions of dollars in 2001. Eventually, Japan invested just under five hundred millions of dollars in the exporting of clothes. wheras the spending of Columbia was risen with the passage of time. In 1999, it was noticed for 450 millions of dollars which swelled continuously. In 2003, the exporting of clothes was witnessed as near around six hundred millions of dollars. overall, it is crystal clear that Myanmar and Japan experienced a downward trend in the exporting of clothes, while Columbia followed an upward trend over the given time phrase.
The rendered line graph illustrates the figure of
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exporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
from Columbia,
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Japan
and Myanmar between 1999 and 2003. Having a quick glance, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
initially
, a negligible amount of money invested by Myanmar in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a sudden increase. After 1999, the expenditure of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
was registered
as 800
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millions
of
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dollars
that incline by 140
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millions
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollar
.
Surprisingly
,
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "the" or "the" is left.
the the
significant drop
was observed
in 2002 and
finally
it
was noticed
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
430
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millions
of
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dollars
. Turning into the
next
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
,
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Japan
and Colombia followed an opposite trend of each other over the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
time period. In the
first
year.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
less
than 600
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millions
of
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dollars
were spent
by
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Japan
in the
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exporting
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
. The figure of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
was inclined
gradually
which
was accounted
as 600
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millions
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
in 2001.
Eventually
,
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Japan
invested
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under five hundred
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millions
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exporting
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
wheras
the spending of Columbia
was risen
with the passage of time. In 1999, it
was noticed
for 450
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
which swelled
continuously
. In 2003, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exporting
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
was witnessed
as near around six hundred
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millions
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
overall
, it is crystal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that Myanmar and
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Japan
experienced a downward trend in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exporting
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
, while Columbia followed an upward trend over the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
time phrase.
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IELTS academic The graph below gives information on the differences in clothing exports from three different countries

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
229 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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Task Achievement: 5.0
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