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The given bar chart shows data about USA fast food restaurants.

The given bar chart shows data about USA fast food restaurants. kqwd
The bar chart below presents information about how often people in the “new world” consume in fast food restaurants from 2003 until 2013. Overall the very active visitors’ number of fast-food restaurants was quite more in the first period compared to the next two. But, there was a significant fluctuation in the amount of often and seldom consumers year by year. It is interesting to note that in some cases these figures remained stable. Especially in the last two periods. According to the bar graph, the percentage of people who every day ate in fast food restaurants was approximately 4 percent in 2003. Even so, in 2006 and 2013 years this figure had decreased and stayed unchanged. About 16 percent of clients of these restaurants visited several times a week in 2003. After 3 years statistics rose swiftly and reached 20 percent. As can be seen from a given date it was roughly 4 % higher compared to 2013-year statistics. It is clear from the given information more purchasers went to fast food restaurants once a week. This rate was above 30% in 2003, approximately 33% in 2006, and more than 15% in 2013. Meanwhile, there was a considerable quantity of fast-food eaters who rarely visit this type of restaurant. In 2003 the percentage of these people was 30% but it decreased rapidly( exactly 5%) until 2006. Howeverthis figure jumped sharply and reach approximately 33%. Additionally, it is apparently seen that about 13% of people visited fast-food restaurants a few times in 2003. This number increased slightly from 2003 to 2006 roughly 3% remained constant until 2013. It is notisible that 8% people had never been in fast food restaurants in 2003. The amount of these people had decreased and stayed the same between 2006 and 2013.
The bar chart below presents information about how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the “new world” consume in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurants
from 2003 until 2013.

Overall
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
active visitors’ number of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurants
was quite more in the
first
period compared to the
next
two.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, there was a significant fluctuation in the amount of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
and seldom
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "consumers'" or "consumer's"?
consumers
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year
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
. It is interesting to note that in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases these figures remained stable.
Especially
in the last two periods.

According to the bar graph, the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who every day ate in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurants
was approximately 4 percent in 2003. Even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, in 2006 and 2013 years this figure had decreased and stayed unchanged. About 16 percent of clients of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurants
visited several times a week in 2003. After 3 years statistics rose
swiftly
and reached 20 percent.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
date it was roughly 4 % higher compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
2013-year
statistics. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
information more purchasers went to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurants
once a week. This rate was above 30% in 2003, approximately 33% in 2006, and more than 15% in 2013.

Meanwhile, there was a considerable quantity of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-food eaters who rarely visit this type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurant
. In 2003 the percentage of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
was 30%
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it decreased
rapidly
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
exactly 5%) until 2006.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Howeverthis
figure jumped
sharply
and reach approximately 33%.
Additionally
, it is
apparently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that about 13% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
visited
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurants
a few times in 2003. This number increased
slightly
from 2003 to 2006 roughly 3% remained constant until 2013. It is
Possible spelling mistake found.
notisible
that 8%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
had never been in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurants
in 2003. The amount of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
had decreased and stayed the same between 2006 and 2013.
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IELTS academic The given bar chart shows data about USA fast food restaurants.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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