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The graph below gives information about the preferred leisure activities of Australian children.

The graph below gives information about the preferred leisure activities of Australian children. KEr1
The given column graph illustrates the five various sedentary activites, which are preferred by Australian children aged 5 to 14. It is clear from the graph that almost, all children stated that they enjoyed more time on watching TV and videos. The second most popular activity is that, around 80% boys spent their time on playing video games and computer games; whlie, this figure quite less for girls by 60%. In addition, approximately 70% boys and 50% girls chose bike riding in thier free time. Almost 60% girls opted Art and craft as a indoor activity; whereas, only 30% boys intersted in this activity. To added, skateboarding was more popular for boys by 40% as compared with girls by 25%. Overall, it can be seen that watching TV and video was the most preferable things for Australian boys and girls; while, children less chose the outdoor activities.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
column graph illustrates the five various sedentary
Possible spelling mistake found.
activites
, which
are preferred
by Australian children aged 5 to 14.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
from the graph that almost, all children stated that they enjoyed more time on watching TV and videos. The second most popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
is that, around 80%
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boys
spent their time on playing video games and computer games;
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whlie
, this figure quite less for
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girls
by 60%.
In addition
, approximately 70%
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boys
and 50%
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girls
chose bike riding in
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thier
free time.

Almost 60%
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girls
opted Art and craft as
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
indoor
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activity
; whereas,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
30%
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boys
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intersted
in this
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activity
. To
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added
, skateboarding was more popular for
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boys
by 40% as compared with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
by 25%.

Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that watching TV and video was the most preferable things for Australian
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boys
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
; while, children less chose the outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.

IELTS academic The graph below gives information about the preferred leisure activities of Australian children.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
147 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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