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The chart below shows the proportions of graduates from Brighton University in 2019 entering different employment sectors.

The chart below shows the proportions of graduates from Brighton University in 2019 entering different employment sectors. kAre
The pie chart illustrates different employment sectors percentage of graduate students from Brighton University in 2019. Overall, there are 10 different industries: service, manufacturing, politics and government, education, civil service, charity, science and technology, sport, transportation and warehousing and other industries. It is clear that the most preferable employment sector was service industries, while the least popular was the sector of sport. Service industries’ proportion was 33. 0% which makes this sector the most popular around graduates of the university. Manufacturing(16. 3%), politics and government(12. 1%) and education (14. 7%) was being followed by service industries. Although these sectors got the significant number of students, sport had quite a little number of students(only 0. 1%). Moreover, such sectors as transportation and warehousing(7. 8%), science and technology (7. 3%), civil service(5, 6%), charity(0. 3%) and other industries were not as popular as the first listed sectors in Brighton University.
The pie chart illustrates
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different
employment
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sectors
percentage of graduate students from Brighton University in 2019.

Overall
, there are 10
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different
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industries
:
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service
, manufacturing, politics and
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government
, education, civil
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service
, charity, science and technology, sport, transportation and warehousing and other
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industries
. It is
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clear
that the most preferable employment
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sector
was
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service
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industries
, while the least popular was the
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sector
of sport.

Service
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industries’
proportion was 33. 0% which
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makes
this
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sector
the most popular around graduates of the university. Manufacturing(16. 3%), politics and
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government
(12. 1%) and education (14. 7%) was
being followed
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
. Although these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
the significant number of students, sport had quite a
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little
number of students(
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only
0. 1%).
Moreover
, such
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sectors
as transportation and warehousing(7. 8%), science and technology (7. 3%), civil
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service(5
, 6%), charity(0. 3%) and other
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industries
were not as popular as the
first
listed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
in Brighton University.
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IELTS academic The chart below shows the proportions of graduates from Brighton University in 2019 entering different employment sectors.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
148 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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