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The graph below gives information about monthly electricity, water and gas use at a leisure centre in Manchester.

The graph below gives information about monthly electricity, water and gas use at a leisure centre in Manchester. WYJk0
The information about monthly electricity, Water and gas use at a leisure centre in Manchester, which is depicted by the rendered bar chart. It can be seen, in Munchester, first two months water and gas have reached around 4. 1 but electricity power increased slightly above 5. 2 points. Moreover, 4 points of electricity used and 3 to 3. 2 points of gases and water have wasted in March. In April and May months three main sources ratio almost equal in Manchester. In addition, water consumption has inclined sharply after three months. but other two Sources have used 2. 7 in July and August. Furthermore, in September electricity and gas used equally but water has used maximum in that month. However using of water almost same ratio in two months but in last year, its number around declined slightly by 0. 1. In December, electricity used more in Manchester. Overall, gas source used less as compared to other sources over 12 months in Manchester.
The information about monthly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Water
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
at a leisure
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
in Manchester, which
is depicted
by the rendered bar chart.

It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
, in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Munchester
,
first
two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
months
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
have reached around 4. 1
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
power increased
slightly
above 5. 2 points.
Moreover
, 4 points of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
and 3 to 3. 2 points of gases and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
have wasted in March. In April and May
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
months
three main
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "sources'" or "source's"?
sources
ratio almost equal in Manchester.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
consumption has inclined
sharply
after three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
months
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
but
other two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sources
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
2. 7 in July and August.
Furthermore
, in September
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
maximum in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
month
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
using of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
almost same ratio in two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
months
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in last year, its number around declined
slightly
by 0. 1. In December,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
more in Manchester.
Overall
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
less
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
compared to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
over 12
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
months
in Manchester.
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IELTS academic The graph below gives information about monthly electricity, water and gas use at a leisure centre in Manchester.

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
164 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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