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The graph and table below show the average monthly temperatures and the average number of hours of sunshine per year in three major cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

The graph and table below show the average monthly temperatures and the average number of hours of sunshine per year in three major cities. QGM9
The data provides information on average temperatures and annual hours of sunshine in London, New York and Sydney The temperature patterns for London and New York are similar, although New York has warmer summers and colder winters In both cities, peaks occur in July August, at 23 in London and 29 in New York. In contrast, Sydney hottest weather is in December January when temperatures average 25. During this period. New York temperatures dip to an average of around 5. compared with 8 in London, On the other hand, Sydney's lowest average temperatures in July are just over 1 As far as hours of sunshine are concerned. New York and Sydney have similar average of 2. 535 and 2. 473 hours respectively. London, however, has a much lower average of 1. 150 hours Clearly, London is the coldest city and has the fewest hours of sunshine. New York has the hottest summers, but Sydney enjoy the warmest overall climate.
The data provides information on
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average
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temperatures
and annual
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hours
of sunshine in London,
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New
York and Sydney The
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temperature
patterns for London and
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New
York are similar, although
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New
York has warmer summers and colder winters In both cities, peaks occur in July August, at 23 in London and 29 in
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New
York.
In contrast
, Sydney hottest weather is in December January when
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temperatures
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average
25. During this period.
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New
York
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temperatures
dip to an
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average
of around 5.
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compared
with 8 in London,
On the other hand
, Sydney's lowest
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average
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temperatures
in July are
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just
over 1

“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
far as
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hours
of sunshine
are concerned
.
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New
York and Sydney have similar
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average
of 2. 535 and 2. 473
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hours
respectively
. London,
however
, has a much lower
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average
of 1. 150 hours

Clearly
, London is the coldest city and has the fewest
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hours
of sunshine.
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New
York has the hottest summers,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Sydney enjoy the warmest
overall
climate.

IELTS academic The graph and table below show the average monthly temperatures and the average number of hours of sunshine per year in three major cities.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
159 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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