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the government should give priority to health care or important priorities discuss both views and opine

the government should give priority to health care or important priorities discuss both views and opine m3wdA
The administration should grant first priority to hospitals facilities rather than other important facilities. In my opinion I, believe both are necessary so, this essay shall discuss both. First of all, the health care system is much more necessary than other facilities. Because of this corona pandamic people are getting more conscious about their health although there are less number of beds available in hospital while do comparison to patients so, saving people's life should be government first priority. For instance, authority can improve health care by increasing several greater medicine's production and providing superior treatment to patient. Secondly, other priorities like maintainance, food supply and many more are necessary as well so, if food supply would get dry out there will be posibilities of getting grocery prices high and because of that economical weaker person will not afford it. So, rather than people go hungry goverment should maintain and priotize other necessary falities too. In conclusion, the government's first aim should be giving importance to health care system but also should priortize other important facilities too.
The administration should grant
first
priority to hospitals facilities
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important


facilities. In my opinion I, believe both are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
necessary
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, this essay shall discuss both.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care system is much more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
necessary
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
facilities.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because


of this corona
Possible spelling mistake found.
pandamic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are getting more conscious about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
although there are

less number of beds available in hospital while do comparison to patients
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, saving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
life
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
first
priority.
For instance
, authority can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care

by increasing several greater medicine's production and providing superior treatment to patient.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
priorities like
Possible spelling mistake found.
maintainance
, food supply and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
necessary
as well
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
,

if food supply would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
dry out there will be
Possible spelling mistake found.
posibilities
of getting grocery prices high and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because


of that economical weaker person will not afford it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
rather
than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
go hungry
Possible spelling mistake found.
goverment
should

maintain and
Possible spelling mistake found.
priotize
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
necessary
Possible spelling mistake found.
falities
too.

In conclusion
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
's
first
aim should be giving importance to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care system
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but


Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
also
should
Possible spelling mistake found.
priortize
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
facilities too.
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IELTS academic the government should give priority to health care or important priorities discuss both views and opine

Academic
  American English
9 paragraphs
177 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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