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Chart honey-bee colonies

Chart honey-bee colonies NlJ5q
The chart gives information about the number of honey-bee Colonies and the amount of honey production in the US between 1970 and 2010. In 1970, there were four million honey-bee Colonies and produced 130, 000 tonnes of honey. Even though the rising of colonies from 1970 to 1980 production of honey has fallen to 110000tones. During the same period, there were 3. 5 million colonies in 1990, but the amount of honey production increased
The chart gives information about the number of honey-bee
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Colonies
and the amount of honey production in the US between 1970 and 2010.

In 1970, there were four million honey-bee
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Colonies
and produced 130, 000 tonnes of honey.
“Even though” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Even though
the rising of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
colonies
from 1970 to 1980 production of honey has fallen to 110000tones. During the same period, there were 3. 5 million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
colonies
in 1990,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the amount of honey production increased
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IELTS academic Chart honey-bee colonies

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
73 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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