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The given two different bar graphs illustrate the rates of marriages and break up marriage of USA from 1970 to 2000 and the wedding status of Men of Americans for 1970 and 2000 respectively.

The given two different bar graphs illustrate the rates of marriages and break up marriage of USA from 1970 to 2000 and the wedding status of Men of Americans for 1970 and 2000 respectively. Q8Do1
The given two different bar graphs illustrate the rates of marriages and break up marriage of USA from 1970 to 2000 and the wedding status of Men of Americans for 1970 and 2000 respectively. Analysing the former graph, In 1970 and 1980 the rate of marriages was 2. 5 million same for the both years while, divorces rate was 1 million and around 1. 4 million for 1970 and 1980 respectively. As two decades passed, The rate of wedding witness slightly fall in 1990 and 2, 000, 000 stated in 2000 whereas divorce rate was counted same as in the year of 1970. Focusing on the later graph that demonstrate the adult marital status in 1970 around 70 percentage of adults were married while 15 percent men noted never married and less than 10 percent were widowed. In 2000 married adults were counted 60 percent. 20 percent adult were reported as never married. Overall, It can be observed that highest marriage and highest adults were married in 1970. Surprisingly, Divorced rate as well as percentage of adults divorced were noticed lowest for same year.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
bar graphs illustrate the
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rates
of
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marriages
and break up
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marriage
A determiner is probably missing here: "of the USA".
of USA
from 1970 to 2000 and the wedding status of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Men
of Americans for 1970 and 2000
respectively
.

Possible spelling mistake. 'Analysing' is British English.
Analysing
the former graph, In 1970 and 1980 the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriages
was 2. 5 million same for the both years while, divorces
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
was 1 million and around 1. 4 million for 1970 and 1980
respectively
. As two decades passed, The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of wedding witness
slightly
fall in 1990 and 2, 000, 000 stated in 2000 whereas divorce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
was counted
same as in the year of 1970.

Focusing on the later graph that demonstrate the adult marital status in 1970 around 70 percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
were married
while 15
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percent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
noted never married and less than 10
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percent
were widowed
. In 2000 married
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adults
were counted
60
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percent
. 20
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percent
adult
were reported
as never married.

Overall
, It can
be observed
that highest
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marriage
and highest
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adults
were married
in 1970.
Surprisingly
, Divorced
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rate
as well
as percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
divorced
were noticed
lowest for same year.
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IELTS academic The given two different bar graphs illustrate the rates of marriages and break up marriage of USA from 1970 to 2000 and the wedding status of Men of Americans for 1970 and 2000 respectively.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
184 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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