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The given pie chart illustrate percentage of employment in several sectors after completion of graduation form Brighton University in 2009.

The given pie chart illustrate percentage of employment in several sectors after completion of graduation form Brighton University in 2009. xNQb
The given pie chart illustrate percentage of employment in several sectors after completion of graduation form Brighton University in 2009. Industries and government sectors are most popular choice of the student. Almost fifty percentage of students opted industries as their career option. Whereas, 33% students choose service industries and 16. 3% select manufacturing industry. Surprisingly 14. 7% pupils were interested in higher study for their better future. There is no major different between Education and Politics and government sector.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
pie chart illustrate percentage of employment in several sectors after completion of graduation form Brighton University in 2009.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Industries
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
sectors are
Did you mean "the most"?
most
popular choice of the student.

Almost fifty percentage of students opted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
as their career option. Whereas, 33% students choose service
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
and 16. 3% select manufacturing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
.
Surprisingly
14. 7% pupils
were interested
in higher study for their better future.

There is no major
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
between Education and Politics and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
sector.
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IELTS academic The given pie chart illustrate percentage of employment in several sectors after completion of graduation form Brighton University in 2009.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
79 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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