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The given line graph provides information about the temperatures averaged every month in three significant cities (London, New York, and Sydney) over a year. Also, the table notes the number of hours of sunshine received by the same town.

The given line graph provides information about the temperatures averaged every month in three significant cities (London, New York, and Sydney) over a year. Also, the table notes the number of hours of sunshine received by the same town. pXam9
The given line graph provides information about the temperatures averaged every month in three significant cities (London, New York, and Sydney) over a year. Also, the table notes the number of hours of sunshine received by the same town. Overall, London was increased trend until the end of the years. It was the opposite trend with the other two cities. However, New York was the highest hours of sunshine than the others two counties. To begin with, New York was the highest hours of sunshine, which was 2, 535 in a year. Following by Sydney at 2, 473 in a year and the lowest was London 1, 180 hour Moreover, the average monthly temperature seems similar in New York and London. They were increased steadily until September around 20-25 degrees celsius. After that, decline slightly to around six-degree Celsius over the next three months. However, Sydney was the different trend of the others two cities. Sydney started at around 25 degrees Celsius and drop to 15 degrees celsius in May and then remain stable until November. After that, rose to 25- degrees celsius at the end of the year.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
line graph provides information about the temperatures averaged every month in three significant cities (London,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
New
York, and Sydney) over a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
.
Also
, the table notes the number of hours of sunshine received by the same town.
Overall
, London
was increased
trend until the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the years. It was the opposite trend with the other two cities.
However
,
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New
York was the highest hours of sunshine than the others two counties.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
New
York was the highest hours of sunshine, which was 2, 535 in a
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year
. Following by Sydney at 2, 473 in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
and the lowest was London 1, 180
Possible agreement error. The noun 'hour' seems to be countable, so consider using: "hours".
hour


Moreover
, the average monthly temperature seems similar in
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New
York and London. They
were increased
steadily
until September around 20-25
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degrees
Possible spelling mistake found.
celsius
. After that, decline
slightly
to around six-degree Celsius over the
next
three months.
However
, Sydney was the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
trend of the others two cities. Sydney
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
at around 25
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degrees
Celsius and drop to 15
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degrees
Possible spelling mistake found.
celsius
in May and then remain stable until November. After that, rose to 25-
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degrees
Possible spelling mistake found.
celsius
at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
.
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IELTS academic The given line graph provides information about the temperatures averaged every month in three significant cities (London, New York, and Sydney) over a year. Also, the table notes the number of hours of sunshine received by the same town.

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
189 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • The given line graph provides information about the temperatures averaged every month in three significant cities (London, New York, and Sydney) over a year. Also, the table notes the number of hours of sunshine received by the same town.