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The given line graph makes a clear comparison of fertility rate in several nations between two periods of time.

The given line graph makes a clear comparison of fertility rate in several nations between two periods of time. Bl8Bw
The given line graph makes a clear comparison of fertility rate in several nations between two periods of time. Obviously, the number of births per female was noticeably more in 1990 than in 2000 in all countries listed. Moreover, in both years Oman took the first place in terms of births (7 and more than 5, respectively). The second in terms of births per woman was S. Arabia in both given years (nearly 7 and more than 5 relatively). However, nations such as Qatar, UAE had moderate level of births, comparing with two previous countries, as well as, there were not great changes in rates between 1990 and 2000. Furthermore, in 1990 the rates of births of both Bahrain and Kuwait were the same, as well as, with considerably more than 3 births, they took the last place among other nations, listed in 1990. Nevertheless, after 10 years, they saw decreases in rates. The birth rate in Bahrain plunged to mere more than 2 children, as well as, in Kuwait it decreased to less than 3 children, respectively. Also noteworthy is the fact that the number of births per female in all countries, listed are not in exact quantity.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
line graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
comparison of fertility
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
in several nations between two periods of time.

Obviously
, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
births
per female was
noticeably
more in 1990 than in 2000 in all countries listed.
Moreover
, in both years Oman took the
first
place in terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
births
(7 and more than 5,
respectively
). The second in terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
births
per woman was S. Arabia in both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
years (
nearly
7 and more than 5
relatively
).
However
, nations such as Qatar, UAE had moderate level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
births
, comparing with two previous countries,
as well
as, there were not great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
between 1990 and 2000.

Furthermore
, in 1990 the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
births
of both Bahrain and Kuwait were the same,
as well
as, with
considerably
more than 3
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
births
, they took the last place among other nations, listed in 1990.
Nevertheless
, after 10 years, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
decreases in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
in Bahrain plunged to mere more than 2 children,
as well
as, in Kuwait it decreased to less than 3 children,
respectively
.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
noteworthy is the fact that the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
births
per female in all countries, listed are not in exact quantity.
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IELTS academic The given line graph makes a clear comparison of fertility rate in several nations between two periods of time.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
199 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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