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The given line graph depict the information about the pencentum of people of different age group who attended a cinema in Great Britain from 1984 to 2003.

The given line graph depict the information about the pencentum of people of different age group who attended a cinema in Great Britain from 1984 to 2003. LLwnr
The given line graph depict the information about the pencentum of people of different age group who attended a cinema in Great Britain from 1984 to 2003. The data has calibrated in percentage. Overall, it can be seen that despite some fluctuations, over the period as whole the proportion of attended a cinema rose in all age group. Moving to detail, between 1984 and 2003, cinema attendance growth considerably across all age group. But the highest percentage was 15 _ 24 age group children from 1984 which climb to 18 percent and over the period growth about 50 %. However, 35 and over individuals priority to watched a cinema was a bottom out around 1. 5 percent and end of the period was increased that was nine percent. Probing to further, cinema attendance of 7 _ 14 and 25 _ 35 year old followed a similar pattern from 1984 to about 2002, which was shown some oscillation. Whilst, from 2002 the trends different 7 _ 14 year olds went to cinema less while cinema attendance of the 25 _ 35 year olds was on the incline.
The
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given
line graph depict the information about the
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pencentum
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of
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different
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age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
who attended a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
in Great Britain from 1984 to 2003. The data has calibrated in percentage.
Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that despite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fluctuations, over the period as whole the proportion of attended a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
rose in all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
. Moving to detail, between 1984 and 2003,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
attendance growth
considerably
across all
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age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the highest percentage was 15 _ 24
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
children from 1984 which climb to 18 percent and over the period growth about 50 %.
However
, 35 and over
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "individuals'" or "individual's"?
individuals
priority to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
was a bottom out around 1. 5 percent and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period
was increased
that was nine percent. Probing to
further
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
attendance of 7 _ 14 and 25 _ 35 year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
followed a similar pattern from 1984 to about 2002, which
was shown
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
oscillation. Whilst, from 2002 the trends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
7 _
It seems that hyphens are missing
14 year olds
went to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
less while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
attendance of the 25 _
It seems that hyphens are missing
35 year olds
was on the incline.
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IELTS academic The given line graph depict the information about the pencentum of people of different age group who attended a cinema in Great Britain from 1984 to 2003.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
186 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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