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The given horizontal bar chart graph depict the use of

The given horizontal bar chart graph depict the use of GL39m
The given horizontal bar chart graph depicts the use of money on different things in four-nation in EuropeOverall It can be clearly seen that, most of the money spent on photographic film buying in the UK and more than leas half in hundred pounds used in Germany. Firstly. all products were bought for around (150) thousand pounds. But most products in Britain is a photographic film around (170) thousand pounds spent than in frame same situation. secondly, about Italy and Germany, not merger change on spending money behind some things.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
horizontal bar chart graph depicts the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of money on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
things in four-nation in
Possible spelling mistake found.
EuropeOverall
It can be
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that, most of the money spent on photographic film buying in the UK and more than leas half in
Use "a hundred" or use a number before 'hundred'.
hundred
pounds
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in Germany.
Firstly
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
all
products were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
for around (150) thousand pounds.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
most products in Britain is a photographic film around (170) thousand pounds spent than in frame same situation.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
secondly
, about Italy and Germany, not merger
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
on spending money behind
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
things.
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IELTS academic The given horizontal bar chart graph depict the use of

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
90 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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