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The given graph show the data about the phone calls made by people of UK. Write a report

The given graph show the data about the phone calls made by people of UK. Write a report BJndV
The given bar graph illustrates the information about the duration of telephone calls made by UK citizens from 1995 to 2002. Units are measured in billion minutes and the following report is derived from the graph. As an initial overview, calls have been divided into three categories (local, national and international, mobile). While the first 2 deal with a fixed-line, mobile calls concentrate all over the world. To begin with, mobile calls have started with around 3 billion minutes in 1995 and continued to grow till 43 billion minutes in 2002 by recording a significant growth every year. While the national and international calls through fixed-line have been increasing every year, the local calls noticed ups and downs. We can observe that the duration of local calls has been highest every year when compared with the other categories achieving a peak of 90 billion minutes in 1999. After then the trend declined to 70 billion minutes till 2002. The national and international calls had seen an improvement from 37 billion minutes to 60 billion minutes from 1995 to 2002.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar graph illustrates the information about the duration of telephone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
calls
made by UK citizens from 1995 to 2002. Units
are measured
in
Use "a billion" or use a number before 'billion'.
billion
minutes and the following report
is derived
from the graph.

As an initial overview,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
calls
have
been divided
into three categories (local, national and international, mobile). While the
first
2
Possible agreement error. The noun 'deal' seems to be countable, so consider using: "deals".
deal
with a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
-line, mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
calls
concentrate all over the world.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
calls
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
with around 3
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
minutes in 1995 and continued to grow till 43
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
minutes in 2002 by recording a significant growth every year. While the national and international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
calls
through
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
-line have been increasing every year, the local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
calls
noticed ups and downs.

We can observe that the duration of local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
calls
has been highest every year when compared with the other categories achieving a peak of 90
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
minutes in 1999.
“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
then the trend declined to 70
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
minutes till 2002. The national and international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
calls
had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
an improvement from 37
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
minutes to 60
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
minutes from 1995 to 2002.
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IELTS academic The given graph show the data about the phone calls made by people of UK. Write a report

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
179 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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