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The given graph demonstrates the percentage of smokers in age groups in England in 2010.

The given graph demonstrates the percentage of smokers in age groups in England in 2010. 7LN0X
In general, In the age group, adult females and males smoked respectively. Admittedly, some age groups for instance, males went on noticeably than females. However, women tried to to reach to the men In the age group 20 to 30, 28% of men smoked compared to 30% of women. Men increased slightly in smoking rather than women just over 30%. In terms of in the age group 40+, there were a little similar variation between male and female their index approximately 40%.
In general
, In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
, adult females and males smoked
respectively
.
Admittedly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
for instance
, males went on
Use "(noticeably)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
noticeably
than females.
However
, women tried
Possible typo: you repeated a word
to to
reach to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
20 to 30, 28% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
smoked compared to 30% of women.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Men
increased
slightly
in smoking
rather
than women
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 30%. In terms of in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
40+, there were a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
similar variation between male and female their index approximately 40%.

IELTS academic The given graph demonstrates the percentage of smokers in age groups in England in 2010.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
82 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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  • The given graph demonstrates the percentage of smokers in age groups in England in 2010.