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The given diagram illustrates the process of constructing a tent, which is called tepee.

The given diagram illustrates the process of constructing a tent, which is called tepee. The process consists of the eight most important steps, starting with three sticks fastened by a rope and ending with the canvas fixed to the ground. First of all, a rope is used to tie three long sticks together. Then the sticks are elevated to form a big tripod. Next, more sticks are attached to the tripod to consolidate its structure. All the sticks are bound again to ensure its stability afterwards. In the fifth phase of the process, Then this stick is lifted and tied to other sticks. The canvas is unwrapped onto the tent. In the next stage, metal pins are used to link the canvas together. Finally, the bottom of the tepee is piled to the ground by using the bollards and the ropes. Now the tent is finished and available to be use
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
diagram illustrates the process of constructing a tent, which
is called
tepee.

The process consists of the eight most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
steps, starting with three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sticks
fastened by a rope and ending with the canvas
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
to the ground.

Often, this adverbial phrase is redundant. Consider using “first”.
First of all
, a rope is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to tie three long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sticks
together. Then the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sticks
are elevated
to form a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
tripod.
Next
, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sticks
are attached
to the tripod to consolidate its structure. All the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sticks
are bound
again to ensure its stability afterwards.

In the fifth phase of the process, Then this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stick
is lifted
and tied to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sticks
. The canvas
is unwrapped
onto the tent. In the
next
stage, metal pins are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to link the canvas together.
Finally
, the bottom of the tepee
is piled
to the ground by using the bollards and the ropes.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
the tent
is finished
and available to be
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph.
use

IELTS academic The given diagram illustrates the process of constructing a tent, which is called tepee.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
150 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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