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The line graph illustrates the number of tourists of England who visited four different attractions, namely the Art gallery, Pavillion, pier, and festival in Brighton from the years 1980-2010.

The line graph illustrates the number of tourists of England who visited four different attractions, namely the Art gallery, Pavillion, pier, and festival in Brighton from the years 1980-2010. Ly3K
The line graph illustrates the number of tourists of England who visited four different attractions, namely the Art gallery, Pavillion, pier, and festival in Brighton from the years 1980-2010. Overall, pavillion had the highest number of visitors in 1995 and Pier had the least in 1980. Also, the percentage of Festival visitors remained almost constant throughout this period. There are only 10% of people visiting Pier in 1980, which increased slightly by around 5%in the year 1985. In the following years, the number fluctuated between 10-15% till 1990 until it reached 22% by the end of 2010. Festival did not see a noticeable change in thirty-year period and stayed almost constant to 30% with few fluctuations in between. On the other hand, art gallery started at 20% and rose abruptly to 45% in the year 1990, remained more or less constant for the next ten years. It dropped significantly to 8%by the end of 2010. Starting at 24% in 1980, the number of pavillion visitors grew gradually and reached the height of 48% in 1995. the number declined in 2010 to 30%.
The line graph illustrates the
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number
of tourists of England who visited four
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different
attractions,
namely
the Art gallery,
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Pavillion
, pier, and festival in Brighton from the years 1980-2010.

Overall
,
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pavillion
had the highest
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number
of visitors in 1995 and Pier had the least in 1980.
Also
, the percentage of Festival visitors remained almost constant throughout this period.

There are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
10% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
visiting Pier in 1980, which increased
slightly
by around 5%in the
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year
1985. In the following years, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
fluctuated between 10-15% till 1990 until it reached 22% by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of 2010. Festival did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a noticeable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in thirty-year period and stayed almost constant to 30% with few fluctuations in between.

On the other hand
, art gallery
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
at 20% and rose
abruptly
to 45% in the
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year
1990, remained more or less constant for the
next
ten years. It dropped
significantly
to 8%by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of 2010. Starting at 24% in 1980, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
pavillion
visitors grew
gradually
and reached the height of 48% in 1995.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
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number
declined in 2010 to 30%.
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IELTS academic The line graph illustrates the number of tourists of England who visited four different attractions, namely the Art gallery, Pavillion, pier, and festival in Brighton from the years 1980-2010.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
182 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
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Grammatical Range: 6.0
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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