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The given bar graph illustrates the percentage of total expenditure among different age group of residents in the UK in 2004

The given bar graph illustrates the percentage of total expenditure among different age group of residents in the UK in 2004 L96pp
The given bar graph illustrate the percentage of total expenditure among different age group of residents in the UK in 2004. Looking at the graph in more detail, age group of 61 to 75 are spending more in entertainment. Also, 76 + spending more in food and drinks these are about just under 20 % those are have high expenditure. Age group of 61 to 75 spent for restaurant and hotel is just under 5%. Also they spent 20 % for food and drinks. For food and drinks under 30 age group use 5 % and along with residents and hotel expenditure is slightly above than food and drinks. They spent just under 15 % for entertainment also. Age group of 31 to 45 and 46 to 60 they spent same for restaurant and hotel about 10 %. 31 to 45 age do people spent just under 15% for food and drinks and under 10 % for entertainment. 46 to 60 age group people spent over 15 % for food and drinks and just under 15 % for entertainment. Age group of 76+ spent above 10 % for the residents and hotel just above 5% for entertainment. Overlay, the usage of food and drinks, restaurant and hotel and entertainment are fluctuating between under 30 to 76+ age group.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar graph illustrate the percentage of total expenditure among
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
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age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
of residents in the UK in 2004. Looking at the graph in more detail,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
of 61 to 75 are spending more in entertainment.
Also
, 76 + spending more in
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food
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
these are about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under 20 % those are
Consider using a past participle here: "had".
have
high expenditure.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
of 61 to 75
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
for restaurant and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hotel
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under 5%.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
20 % for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
under 30
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age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
5 % and along with residents and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hotel
expenditure is
slightly
Use "(above)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
above
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under 15 % for entertainment
also
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
of 31 to 45 and 46 to 60 they
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spent
same for restaurant and
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hotel
about 10 %. 31 to 45
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under 15% for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
and under 10 % for entertainment. 46 to 60
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
over 15 % for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under 15 % for entertainment.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
of 76+
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
above 10 % for the residents and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hotel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
above 5% for entertainment. Overlay, the usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
, restaurant and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hotel
and entertainment are fluctuating between under 30 to 76+
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
.

IELTS academic The given bar graph illustrates the percentage of total expenditure among different age group of residents in the UK in 2004

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
218 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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