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Changes in frenton town between 1990 and 2012

Changes in frenton town between 1990 and 2012 Dodek
The maps represent the changes that occurred in a town called Fenton between 1990 and 2012. The playing field with trees in the north was replaced with blocks of flats, while the hospital was expanded. The bank in the west was converted to make a new restaurant and the trees in the southwest were cut down for construction of a technopark. School and library in the west remain unchanged. The cafe and park area in East of the high street was developed as a hotel and golf course. Houses in the east of frenton were demolished to make blocks of flats. The theatre and shops in the southwest were replaced with cinema and supermarket, respectively. Overall, in 22 years frenton town changed as a town with fewer trees and more buildings.
The maps represent the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
that occurred in a town called
Possible spelling mistake found.
Fenton
between 1990 and 2012.

The playing field with trees in the north
was replaced
with blocks of flats, while the hospital
was expanded
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
bank in the west
was converted
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a new restaurant and the trees in the southwest were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down for construction of a
Possible spelling mistake found.
technopark
. School and library in the west remain unchanged.

The
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
and park area in East of the high street
was developed
as a hotel and golf course.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Houses
in the east of
Possible spelling mistake found.
frenton
were demolished
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
blocks of flats. The
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
and shops in the southwest
were replaced
with cinema and supermarket,
respectively
.

Overall
, in 22 years
Possible spelling mistake found.
frenton
town
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
as a town with fewer trees and more buildings.
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IELTS academic Changes in frenton town between 1990 and 2012

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
131 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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