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The given bar graph compares the changes in the places where people accessed the Internet between 1998 and 2004

The given bar graph compares the changes in the places where people accessed the Internet between 1998 and 2004 alV3X
The given bar graph compares the changes in the places where people accessed the Internet between 1998 and 2004. It is clear that the maximum people surfed the Internet from home in all the given years. It can be seen from the graph that more people surfed the Internet at home and in their working places than in the colleges and libraries. The percentage of people who accessed the Internet from home fell from approximately 55 in 1998 to 48 in 2000. After that this percentage began to rise steadily and reached 55 in 2004. The second most common place where people accessed the net was office. The proportion of people who spent their online time at work was between 25% and 30% from 1998 to 2002, but fell to 15% in 2004. Approximately 18%-25% people used the Internet at college in all the given years. The least percentage surfed the net in libraries. This percentage fluctuated between 12% and 18% over the given years. Overall, the discrepancy between people surfing the net from home and all other places was high in all the four given years.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar graph compares the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
accessed the Internet between 1998 and 2004. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the maximum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
surfed the Internet from home in all the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
years. It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the graph that more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
surfed the Internet at home and in their working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
than in the colleges and libraries. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who accessed the Internet from home fell from approximately 55 in 1998 to 48 in 2000. After that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
began to rise
steadily
and reached 55 in 2004. The second most common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
accessed the net was office. The proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who spent their online time at work was between 25% and 30% from 1998 to 2002,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
fell to 15% in 2004. Approximately 18%-25%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the Internet at college in all the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
years. The least
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
surfed the net in libraries. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
fluctuated between 12% and 18% over the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
years.
Overall
, the discrepancy between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
surfing the net from home and all other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
was high in all the four
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
years.
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IELTS academic The given bar graph compares the changes in the places where people accessed the Internet between 1998 and 2004

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
187 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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