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The given bar charts illustrate the sales of different genres of music album in the UK.

The given bar charts illustrate the sales of different genres of music album in the UK. 2bM0k
The given bar charts illustrate the sales of different genres of music album in the UK. The data compares the percentage of purchase in relation to gender and four age groups. Firstly, it is clearly seen that men are more interested in Rock, Classical and Pop music than women. Albums purchased by men made up 26, 9 and 28 percent for Rock, Classical and Pop music respectively. Secondly, there are significant variations in the sales of the music albums for the different age groups. Interestingly, the purchasing habits of all the four age groups have an almost identical pattern for Rock and Pop music albums, with sales for the former group accounting for 30, 31, 26 and 8 percent for the 16-24, 25-34, 35-44, and 45+ groups respectively. Albums sales were quite different; obviously the older age group for 16%. Surprisingly, the 35-44 years age groups was minimally interested in Classical music with a share of 3% only. Finally, as expected, the youngest age group was completely uninterested in Classical music with only 1% sales share.
The
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given
bar charts illustrate the
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sales
of
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different
genres of
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music
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album
in the UK. The data compares the percentage of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
in relation to gender and four
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age
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groups
.
Firstly
, it is
clearly
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seen
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
are more interested in Rock,
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Classical
and Pop
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music
than women.
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Albums
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
made up 26, 9 and 28 percent for Rock,
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Classical
and Pop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
respectively
.
Secondly
, there are significant variations in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
albums
for the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
.
Interestingly
, the purchasing habits of all the four
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
have an almost identical pattern for Rock and Pop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
albums
, with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
for the former
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group
accounting for 30, 31, 26 and 8 percent for the 16-24, 25-34, 35-44, and 45+
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groups
respectively
.
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Albums
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
were quite
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different
;
obviously
the older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
for 16%.
Surprisingly
, the 35-44 years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
was
minimally
interested in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
with a share of 3%
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
.
Finally
, as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
, the youngest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
was completely uninterested in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
1%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
share.

IELTS academic The given bar charts illustrate the sales of different genres of music album in the UK.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
176 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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