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The given bar chart information about the airline tickets in Sydney and Melbourne in 2013.

The given bar chart information about the airline tickets in Sydney and Melbourne in 2013. jDJwy
The provided bar chart illustrate the information regarding one airline ticket's price into various cities(Sydney and Melbourne) Australia, during fortnight period in 2013. The data has been calibrated in dollars. Overall, it is manifest that, prices of tickets was the highest in first week in Monday from Sydney to Melbourne as compared to other day, and the price of ticket observe the fluctuations in both city in both weeks. To commence with, in the first week, the price of tickets was $80 in Monday which fell with $30 in a second week in the same day between Sydney to Melbourne in Australia in 2013. However, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursdayprice of airline ticket remained at under $40 in both weeks. Likewise, there was a $30 in inclined in a tickets price, it accounted for about $70 in Friday in first and second week. Moreover, in the last day of the week 50 dollar price airline price of tickets in both week. Moving father, flights to Melbourne to Sydney, the figure showed fluctuation, in Monday airline ticket's price bagon at $60, which declined in following day and remained under $40 (from Tuesday to Thursday) in a first week. But in second week flights prize notice same trend under $40 first four day of the week in 2nd week. in first week the price in client to rapidly and reach at $80 after that it declined at dollar50, and first weekend in the second week the in Sunday price of ticket arrived at $50.
The provided bar chart illustrate the information regarding one airline ticket's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
into various cities(Sydney and Melbourne) Australia, during fortnight period in 2013. The data has
been calibrated
in dollars.

Overall
, it is manifest that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tickets
was the highest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
in Monday from Sydney to Melbourne as compared to other day, and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ticket
observe the fluctuations in both city in both weeks.

To commence with, in the
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first
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week
, the
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price
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tickets
was $80 in Monday which fell with $30 in a second
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week
in the same day between Sydney to Melbourne in Australia in 2013.
However
, Tuesday, Wednesday and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Thursdayprice
of airline
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ticket
remained at under $40 in both
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weeks
.
Likewise
, there was a $30
Adverb repetition. Please, verify.
in inclined in
a
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tickets
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
, it accounted for about $70 in Friday in
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first
and second
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week
.
Moreover
, in the last day of the
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week
50 dollar
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price
airline
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price
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tickets
in both week.

Moving father, flights to Melbourne to Sydney, the figure
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
fluctuation, in Monday airline ticket's
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price
Possible spelling mistake found.
bagon
at $60, which declined in following day and remained under $40 (from Tuesday to Thursday) in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in second
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week
flights prize notice same trend under $40
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first
four day of the
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week
in 2nd
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week
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
the
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price
in client to
rapidly
and reach at $80 after that it declined at dollar50, and
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first
weekend in the second
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week
the in Sunday
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of
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ticket
arrived at $50.
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IELTS academic The given bar chart information about the airline tickets in Sydney and Melbourne in 2013.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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