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Process of manufacturing bricks for the bulding industry

Process of manufacturing bricks for the bulding industry 70MB5
The diagram elucidates the process of producing bricks for the building industry. Overall process involves 7 stages to finally make bricks. The process begins when clay is digged by digger, before sorting it through the metal grid to the roller. After adding mixture of sand and water there is two options: to make breaks by the way of mould or by using wire cutter. Afterwards bricks need to be dried in oven in one or two days. Then heating process is needed, first to heat bricks in kiln under moderate temperature (200ºC-900ºC) and then under high temperature (870ºC-1300ºC). Before packaging bricks are being put into cooling chamber during two or three days. Process finishes when bricks are delivered to factories
The diagram elucidates the
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process
of producing
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bricks
for the building industry.
Overall
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process
involves 7 stages to
finally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
bricks.

The
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process
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begins
when clay is
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digged
by digger,
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before
sorting it through the metal grid to the roller. After adding mixture of sand and water
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there is two options
: to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
breaks by the way of
Possible spelling mistake. 'mould' is British English.
mould
or by using wire cutter. Afterwards
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bricks
need to
be dried
in oven in one or two days.

Then heating
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process
is needed
,
first
to heat
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bricks
in kiln under moderate temperature (200ºC-900ºC) and then under high temperature (870ºC-1300ºC).
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
packaging
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bricks
are
being put
into cooling chamber during two or three days.
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Process
finishes when
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bricks
are delivered
to
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
factories
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IELTS academic Process of manufacturing bricks for the bulding industry

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
119 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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