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The given bar chart depicts the amount of expenditure of two different European countries which spent on goods in 2010.

The given bar chart depicts the amount of expenditure of two different European countries which spent on goods in 2010. PMyyp
The given bar chart depicts the amount of expenditure of two different European countries which spent on goods in 2010. Units are measured by pounds Overall, it can be easily seen that the figure for cars completely occupied the rest of the goods. While a striking interesting of this bar chart is that perfume witnessed a humble figure in both countries. To begin with, in the UK, cars registered a great deal of number, which was exactly 450, 000 pounds compared to accurately 400, 000 pounds in France. According to books in the UK, people spent as opposed to France, which over 400, 000 pounds and 300, 000 pounds respectively. As for the number of pounds of cameras, the UK accounts for 400, 000 pounds, which was higher than over 200, 000 pounds in the expenditure on books in France. Regarding Computers, France witnessed approximately 375, 000 pounds while the figure for the UK was 300, 000 pounds. Reference to Perfume, the figure for pounds in the UK was lower than France over 50, 000 pounds.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar chart depicts the amount of expenditure of two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
European countries which spent on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
in 2010. Units
are measured
by
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
pounds


Overall
, it can be
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
for cars completely occupied the rest of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
a striking interesting of this bar chart is that perfume witnessed a humble
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
in both countries.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, in the UK, cars registered a great deal of number, which was exactly 450, 000 pounds compared to
accurately
400, 000 pounds in France. According to books in the UK,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
spent as opposed to France, which over 400, 000 pounds and 300, 000 pounds
respectively
. As for the number of pounds of cameras, the UK accounts for 400, 000 pounds, which was higher than over 200, 000 pounds in the expenditure on books in France.

Regarding Computers, France witnessed approximately 375, 000 pounds while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
for the UK was 300, 000 pounds. Reference to Perfume, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
for pounds in the UK was lower than France over 50, 000 pounds.

IELTS academic The given bar chart depicts the amount of expenditure of two different European countries which spent on goods in 2010.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
176 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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