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You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The diagram below gives the information about the Hawaiian island chain in the centre of the Pacific Ocean. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown. » Write at least 150 words.

The diagram below gives the information about the Hawaiian island chain in the centre of the Pacific Ocean. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown. » xlLb
The diagram illustrates how the Hawaiian Islands chain made off at (were made in) the Pacific Ocean by volcanic activity. Overall, it can be seen that the Hawaiian islands were developed by volcanic activity from under the Earth. The island chain formed as an effect (a result) of volcanic activity dating back to 80 million years ago. Firstly, the eruption process started from under the Earth approximately 2883 km down below. The movement of Pacific plate, causing a shift of the Pacific tectonic plate (7-9 cm per year) into the north-west direction. Thus, it affected the "hot spot" and created a new path of magma material exited (to exit) out and magma spume came into (onto) the surface of the Earth. The cycle repeated and then the newest, youngest volcano was created, which were (was) built up by numerous eruptions. Finally, a continuous activity by Pacific ocean's plate creates several new islands next to newest volcanoes caused by the Earth plate shifting every year and formed (, forming) an archipelago of Hawaiian islands.
The diagram illustrates how the Hawaiian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Islands
chain made off at (
were made
in) the Pacific Ocean by volcanic activity.

Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the Hawaiian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
islands
were developed
by volcanic activity from under the Earth.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
island
chain formed as an effect (a result) of volcanic activity dating back to 80 million years ago.
Firstly
, the eruption process
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
from under the Earth approximately 2883 km down below. The movement of Pacific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plate
, causing a shift of the Pacific tectonic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plate
(7-9 cm per year) into the north-west direction.
Thus
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
the
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
hot spot
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
and created a new path of magma material exited (to exit) out and magma spume came into (onto) the surface of the Earth. The cycle repeated and then the newest, youngest volcano
was created
, which were (was) built up by numerous eruptions.

Finally
, a continuous activity by
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
Pacific ocean
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plate
creates several new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
islands
next
to
A determiner is probably missing here: "the newest".
newest
volcanoes caused by the Earth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plate
shifting every year and formed (, forming) an archipelago of Hawaiian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
islands
.

IELTS academic The diagram below gives the information about the Hawaiian island chain in the centre of the Pacific Ocean. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown. »

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
173 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The diagram below gives the information about the Hawaiian island chain in the centre of the Pacific Ocean. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown. » Write at least 150 words.