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The forcast development in the center of the islip town

The forcast development in the center of the islip town AjB0M
The following two maps show the center of town called Islip. One map describes the current condition and the second map describes the forecast of the future. At present, Islip town center now has countryside, shops, and main road on the north while, housing on the south. School is on the southwest corner and park on the southeast. However, the map of planned development seems quite organized and convenient. The town is going to be rebuilt in an oval shape so the citizens there can travel conveniently by dual carriageway. Bus station, shopping center, car parking, and new housing is going to build in future on the north by eliminating countryside. In the center, there will group of the shop in line with only pedestrians allowed. The park in the southeast will be reduced and the school in the southwest will be rebuilt bigger. New housing will be built on the south inside the dual carriageway and one outside of it. Overall, lots of development is predicted in the future which will make the town bigger and better with all modification and facilities.
The following two
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maps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the center of
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town
called
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Islip
. One
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map
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describes
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
condition and the second
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map
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describes
the forecast of the future.

At present,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Islip
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town
center
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
has countryside, shops, and main road on the north while, housing on the south. School is on the southwest corner and park on the southeast.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
map
of planned development seems quite organized and convenient. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
is going to be rebuilt in an oval shape
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the citizens there can travel
conveniently
by dual carriageway. Bus station, shopping center, car parking, and new housing is going to build in future on the north by eliminating countryside. In the center, there will group of the shop in line with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
pedestrians
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
. The park in the southeast will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
and the school in the southwest will be rebuilt bigger. New housing will
be built
on the south inside the dual carriageway and one
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "outside".
outside of
it.

Overall
, lots of development
is predicted
in the future which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
bigger and better with all modification and facilities.
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IELTS academic The forcast development in the center of the islip town

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
183 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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