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The following line graph illustrates the average number of students from Vietnam attending French, Russian, and American curriculums from 2000 to 2015, 15 year period.

The following line graph illustrates the average number of students from Vietnam attending French, Russian, and American curriculums from 2000 to 2015, 15 year period. 7WgDX
The following line graph illustrates the average number of students from Vietnam attending French, Russian, and American curriculums from 2000 to 2015, 15 year period. In the year 2000, both the number of Vietnamese students studying in France and Russia started high compared to that in America. The number of Vietnamese students studying in France leveled out at around 1, 5 million attendees between 2005 and 2010. Surprisingly, the number of students from Vietnam that took part in French and Russian education in order rose to 4 and 2. 5 millions. Different from the other two educations, the American curriculum attracted the least number of Vietnamese students in 2000. Although it started low at 1. 5 million, it went up slightly between 2005 and 2010. Throughout 2005 and 2015, the number of students continued its upward trend. Eventually, the number of Vietnamese students attending the American education led the way with 5 million people in 2015. Overall, in comparison to the number of students studying in France and Russian which in 2005 witnessed a decline, that in America rise to 2 million. However, from 2010 to 2015, there was a significant upward trend in either the number of students studying in France and Russian or that in America
The following line graph illustrates the average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from Vietnam attending French, Russian, and American curriculums from 2000 to 2015,
It seems that a hyphen is missing.
15 year
period.

In the year 2000, both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of Vietnamese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
in France and Russia
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
high compared to that in America. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of Vietnamese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
in France leveled out at around 1, 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
attendees between 2005 and 2010.
Surprisingly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from Vietnam that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
took part
in French and Russian education in order rose to 4 and 2. 5 millions.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Different
from the other two educations, the American curriculum attracted the least
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of Vietnamese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in 2000.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
low at 1. 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
, it went up
slightly
between 2005 and 2010. Throughout 2005 and 2015, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
continued its upward trend.
Eventually
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of Vietnamese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
attending the American education led the way with 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in 2015.

Overall
,
in comparison
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
in France and Russian which in 2005 witnessed a decline, that in America rise to 2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
.
However
, from 2010 to 2015, there was a significant upward trend in either the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
in France and Russian or that in America
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IELTS academic The following line graph illustrates the average number of students from Vietnam attending French, Russian, and American curriculums from 2000 to 2015, 15 year period.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
207 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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